Theater Audition Hub

     

Fall

GEORGE - Mary Poppins

I used to love flying kites at his age. But my nanny, Miss Andrew, soon frightened it out of me. All the best people have nannies….so the wives can do charity work and entertain. Which reminds me, how is your tea party coming on? Remember: “By your friends shall ye be judged.” Winnifred. Dearest. I’m only thinking of you. Are you going to say something to Mary Poppins about this afternoon? Just make sure she’s doing things our way and not hers.

MRS CORRY - Mary Poppins

Well well well...if it isn’t Mary Poppins! With Jane and Michael Banks! And how is poor little Georgie? Georgie Banks? Your father? He used to give his nanny the slip and come into my shop here in secret. I remember Georgie used to love my gingerbread stars. Now, Mary Poppins, what can I do for you? I’m out of conversations, and I’m right out of words too. Oooooh, I do have some letters….and where do you think words came from in the first place? Somebody had to make them up.

ROBYN HOOD - Robyn Hood

Remember now, you are part of the crowd. If we are to save our friends, we must do everything the crowd does. If they boo, so do you. If they throw trash, so do you. Wait for my signal then move like lighting. Scarlett, cut Twig and Willow loose while Joan and the others hold back the guards. Leave the Sheriff to me.

JANE- Mary Poppins

Fathers are supposed to look after their children, not yell at them all the time. I don’t want to be in an upside-down family. I wish I could run away. But you’d miss me. Oh, Mary Poppins, I wish you’d just leave us alone! Don’t you ever stop? I’m sick and tired of your stupid sayings and your stupid games! I won’t go to sleep, and you can’t make me!

SISTER TUCK - Robyn Hood

There wasn’t room on that little bridge for Robyn to pass without Little Joan going back. Robyn wouldn’t move so Joan threw her over the rail and into the water below — or so she thought. She bent over the rail to laugh at Robyn and Robyn was there, hanging from the side. She grabbed Joan and pulled her over. They fell together into the icy waters — and have been best friends ever since.

MISS ANDREW - Mary Poppins

It isn’t much of a house, is it? It doesn’t take a lot to keep you happy. Look at the dust! There! And there! Filth! Ah. You must be the children. Pity. I don’t suppose you know who I am? And why aren’t you wearing stockings? Tut! What manners! I can see there is not a minute to lose!

PRISION GUARD - Robyn Hood

I got a bad feeling in my bones. There could be an attack on the jail any minute. No, no. Don’t tell me it’s in my imagination because it ain’t. You hear something? Come on out of the shadows, whoever you are! Come out with your hands up. Come out or I’ll shoot! I’m shooting! (shoots crossbow, moves close to look) I’ve shot my jacket!

If you prefer to perform your audition with a friend, please choose from one of these dialogues and be sure to sign up together for the same audition slot. These scenes are only available as an option to those auditioning in a pair, and will be used in place of a monologue.

GEORGE BANKS & MARY POPPINS -Mary Poppins

MARY POPPINS: Good morning.

GEORGE (stunned by the sudden intruder): Yes??

MARY POPPINS I’ve come in to answer the advertisement.

GEORGE What advertisement? We haven’t placed any advertise--

MARY POPPINS (pulls a mended piece of paper from her pocket) Now let’s see. “Play games, all sorts.” Which I most certainly can. “Take us on outings, give us treats.” “Rosy cheeks and fairly pretty” There’s no objection on that score, I hope?

GEORGE (flustered) Oh, none at all.

MARY POPPINS I’m glad to hear it.

GEORGE But-- oh, take it up with Mrs. Banks. She manages all that side of things. Nothing domestic has anything to do with me. And don’t forget the references!

MARY POPPINS I make it a rule never to give references. I’ll see the children now, thank you.

SHERIFF & ROBYN

They are at a public competition to find the best archer, a competition designed to draw Robyn Hood out from the woods so that they can arrest her. The Sheriff has just shot his bow and arrow.

SHERIFF Ha! A perfect bull’s eye.

ROBYN (in disguise) Well, well! That’s what you call pullin’ it back and lettin’ it go! You’ll be hard to beat, that’s for sure.

SHERIFF Hard to beat? You have to use my target. My arrow is already in the bullseye. What do you think you can do?

ROBYN Suppose I’ll have to split your arrow, Sheriff.

SHERIFF Ha! If you shoot half as well as you talk, you’re better than Robyn Hood.

ROBYN Better than— Wowee! I’m tiptop, but I’m not half as good as that. (start to aim arrow) I hear you’re having trouble getting your hands on that Robyn Hood.

SHERIFF She’s scared of me, that’s what she is.

ROBYN Is she now?

SHERIFF You notice she didn’t show up at this competition.

ROBYN What if she’s in disguise?

SHERIFF Ha! I could see through any disguise of hers.

SONG CHOICE #1: Cherry Tree Lane - Mary Poppins

Listen to the Lyric Version
Listen to the Karaoke Version (will be used to audition)

Precision and order

That’s all that I ask

The running of a household,

A straightforward task.

The children, the servants

Are all your domain

Whilst I remain the sovereign

Of Cherry Tree Lane.


SONG CHOICE #2: Jolly Holiday - Mary Poppins

Listen to the Lyric Version
Listen to the Karaoke Version (will be used to audition)

Boring, just like other nannies

Thinking parks are good for us

It’s just statues, ducks, and grannies

I don’t understand all the fuss.

Is she doing it to spite us?

We could lose her for a lark!

Perhaps it’s all a plot

I’ll tell you what

She seems so diff’rent but I bet she’s not.

There is nothing to excite us in… the… park.


SONG CHOICE #3: A Spoonful of Sugar - Mary Poppins

Listen to the Lyric Version
Listen to the Karaoke Version (will be used to audition)

And ev’ry task you undertake

Becomes a piece of cake

A lark, a spree!

It’s very clear to see

That a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down

The medicine go down

Medicine go down

Just a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down

In a most delightful way!


SONG CHOICE #4: Chim-Chim-Cheree - Mary Poppins

Listen to the Lyric Version
Listen to the Karaoke Version (will be used to audition)

Up where the smoke is all billowed and curled

‘Tween pavement and stars is the chimney sweep’s world.

Where there’s ‘ardly no day

Nor ‘ardly no night

There’s things ‘alf in shadow

And ‘alfway in light

On the rooftops of London

Coo! What a sight!


SONG CHOICE #5: LITTLE PEOPLE - Robyn Hood

Listen to the Lyric Version
Listen to the Karaoke Version (will be used to audition)

A worm can roll a stone

A bee can sting a bear

A fly can fly around Versailles

'Cos flies don't care!

A sparrow in a hut

Can make a happy home

A flea can bite the bottom

Of the Pope ïn Rome!


SONG CHOICE #6: GOD HELP THE OUTCASTS - Robyn Hood

Listen to the Lyric Version
Listen to the Karaoke Version (will be used to audition)

I ask for nothing

I can get by

But I know so many

Less lucky than I

God help the outcasts

The poor and down trod

I thought we all were

The children of God


SONG CHOICE #7: DON’T MESS WITH MY GIRL - Robyn Hood

Listen to the Lyric Version
Listen to the Karaoke Version (will be used to audition)

If you mess with my girl

You leave me with no choice

I might have to raise my voice

Get all up in your face

And put you right in your place

If you mess with my girl

Guess who's gonna mess with you?

150 pound angry dude

Losing his mind and rocking your world

If you mess with my girl

Spring

CHESIRE CAT - Alice in Wonderland

There’s no use knocking on that door for two reasons. The first is that I’m on the same side of the door as you. Secondly, the Duchess is so noisy inside that she won’t hear you if you do. If you were inside, you might knock, and I could let you out. Do you even want to go in? That’s the important question. If you are set on entering… have you tried turning the handle? There’s a good girl.

CATAPILLAR - Alice in Wonderland

Which way you should go depends on where you want to get. If you’ll go anywhere, it doesn’t matter. Every path will take you there. Down this trail lives a Hatter. He’s mad, you know - but I’ll tell you a secret. All the very best people are. In the other direction lives the March Hare. She’s mad. We’re all mad.

MAD HATTER - Alice in Wonderland

Have some wine. It’s right not there. Wait! What am I thinking? Introductions! I’m the Mad Hatter. Charmed, you’re sure. This sleeping rat is Dormouse. This is the March Hare. And this is the May Ham. Delicious may ham. Don’t worry about the elephant. (We don’t speak about him!) Now, what’s your name? No matter. Introductions are over! Pass a clean cup, please!

MOCK TURTLE - Alice in Wonderland

My teacher was the great sea turtle, Tortoise. Why was he called Tortoise if he was a sea turtle? Silly girl. Because he ‘taught us’. You ought to be ashamed for asking such a simple question. Lessons were ten hours the first day, nine the next and so on. What’s that? Do speak up, girl. Why do they get shorter? They are ‘lessons’. They lessen from day to day. You’re really quite dull, you know. Or maybe you don’t.

The Little Mermaid

SEBASTIAN - The Little Mermaid

Oh Sire! You’re gonna love this number! I wrote it for my star pupil - your youngest! Such a voice, that child! Notes as clear as ice, pitch as pure as water! Why I haven’t heard such a magnificent sound since the queen….oh, you’re gonna be so proud! If only that girl would show up for rehearsals once in a while.

URSULA - The Little Mermaid

Flotsam, my pet! Jetsam, my darling! Come to me, my sea-spies! Mama’s feeling….woebegone - banished to the nether regions of the sea. No food, hardly any company...I’m simply wasting away! Yes, poor me! Use a little black magic to help out a few merfolk, and this is the thanks I get! Well, now it’s time to turn the tides on Triton. We just need to find his Achilles heel...a weakness that will crack his armor.

KING TRITON - The Little Mermaid

Seagull? Human stuff? You went up to the surface?! You could have been seen by one of those barbarians! They’re dangerous - nets, harpoons! You’re my youngest! As long as you live under my reef, you’ll obey my rules! That’s the last time you’re ever swimming to the surface! Understood?

ARIEL - The Little Mermaid

But he didn’t frighten me. He made me feel...wonderful! Besides, I am not a child any more! It doesn’t matter - you don’t understand! I wish mother were here! I hate father! And some friend you turned out to be - spilling everything - I don’t need you. I don’t need any of you! Go away! I said, go away!

If you prefer to perform your audition with a friend, please choose from one of these dialogues and be sure to sign up together for the same audition slot. These scenes are only available as an option to those auditioning in a pair, and will be used in place of a monologue.

Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum (Dual Dialogue Scene ) - Alice in Wonderland

Dee: Ahhh! Look at that!

Dum: What?

Dee: My rattle!

Dum: I only wanted to play with it.

Dee: You broke it! You know we must battle.

Dum: Must we?

Dee: We must! What’s the time?

Dum: Half past a lunatic.

Dee: Very good. We’ll fight ‘til a quarter of sanity.

Dum: You might want to step back, Alice.

Dee: Yes! I generally hit everything I see.

Dum: And I generally hit everything within reach - whether I see it or not

Dee: Battle!


Song #1 - Part Of Your World Reprise- The Little Mermaid

Lyrics Track
Karaoke Track

What would I give

To live where you are

What would I pay

To stay here beside you

What would I do to see you

Smiling at me


I don’t know when

I don’t know how

But I know

Something’s starting

Right now


Watch and you’ll see

Someday I’ll be

Part of your world


Song # 2 - She’s In Love- The Little Mermaid

Lyrics Track
Karaoke Track

Is she ill or insane?

Is it water on the brain?

What has got her bothered so?


It’s the bends, it’s the flu

Gosh I wish we had a clue

Oh wait!

Oh dear!

Good grief!

It’s clear -


She’s in love!

She’s in love!

Pounding heart

Ringing bells

Look, I think she’s even wearing brand new shells!


Song #3 Human Stuff - The Little Mermaid

Lyrics Track
Karaoke Track

Pick up the dinglehopper

Just like so

Twirl it the way I’m twirling now

Give it a little yank

And there ya go

You’re what they call the dog’s meow


Wonderful stuff, that human stuff!

Can’t get enough, of human stuff!

And we are the authority

No need for us to bluff

Because we are great

At explanatin’

Human stuff!

Under The Sea- The Little Mermaid

Lyrics Track
Karaoke Track

The seaweed is always greener

In somebody else’s lake

You dream about going up there

But that is a big mistake

Just look at the world around you

Right here on the ocean floor

Such wonderful things surround you

What more is you looking for?


Under the sea, under the sea

Darling it’s better

Down where it’s wetter

Take it from me!


Up on the shore they work all day

Out in the sun they slave away

While we devoting

Full time to floating

Under the sea!